I will not miss the Ike banner. XD

[popo_licious]

Now that it's officially out in the open, I can finally discuss my feelings regarding FESS's imminent closing. The people who cared the most about the site probably knew the whole story by last night, but since they weren't my beans to spill, I waited.

To say the least, I'm completely beside myself. When I found out on Wednesday, I felt like I had gotten wacked over the head—hard. I actually felt sick, which I'm sure a lot of others can attest to as well, and ended up going to Stephanie's room and having a little pity party with her. Alongside being shocked, I was... angry. I don't know if I was angry at the situation, or at 'Bus because he happened to be the messenger, or what have you, but I was in this really weird state of aggression that I can't quite explain. ((Can you go through the seven stages of grief for an Internet community...? I've covered shock, anger, and now depression.))

I feel a little better about things at this point, mostly because I ended up joining Serenes Forest to test the waters and got good results for the most part. I considered being petulant about all this by simply disappearing off the face of the fandom, but that would be pointless, and I would have come crawling back anyway. XD

Just because I feel like it sums up my feelings so well, I've included my good-bye post in the quote below. I wouldn't say it's the hardest thing I've had to write, but I did get a little emotional along the way.

I've been a member of this community for nearly four years now--my anniversary falling on December 7th, just short of the mark--and have been amazed countless times by this community's strength and devotion throughout my duration as a member. It hardly needs to be said, but we've been through so much as a group--several moves, a handful of falling-outs, disappointment, and even an uprising or two. However, we've made it through it all with great fortitude, and that's something to be awfully proud of. It saddens me to see that FESS's life is coming to a close, yet I'm heartened to go on with the knowledge that this is due to natural causes--the ebb and flow of a fandom in general--and was not caused by some of the hurtful and malicious behavior we've seen in the past. Like a great beast that knows when it's time is drawing to a close, here we are, bowing out with grace and dignity, though I would expect nothing less from FESS.

I've learned so much during my time here, about people, about responsibility, and about growing up. I give my thanks to Superbus in particular; whether he intended to or not, I feel as though he took me under his wing and showed me the value in being a strong, dependable leader and a team player. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The experiences and opportunities I've been given while here have been invaluable to me, as a member and also as a person.

To the members of the Art Board, I thank you all as well. As I've mentioned to Tir in the past, I've always regarded you as my children to an extent. You were my responsibility to nurture as artists, and I can only hope that I've managed to impart as much insight on you as you've imparted on me. At the very least, I hope I've been able to provide you with a comfortable, relaxed place to post you artwork. While it saddens me that I will not be continuing my duties elsewhere, I encourage all of you to join Serenes Forest alongside the rest of the community and post your pieces there. You all are so talented, and SF needs all the help they can get in their art department.

So I'll catch you on the flip side, FESSers. It's been fun. More than fun, actually. It's been an experience quite unlike any other I've ever known, and most likely, unlike one I'll ever see again.

Regarding my position as a moderator, I'll honestly admit that I'm a little hurt I wasn't approached by the Serenes Forest staff to continue my work on their forums. ((God knows that they need help with their art section. It's a disaster.)) I can't justify being mad at the site’s administration however, because they had no obligations whatsoever to take anyone from FESS, and beyond that, I'm sure that if 'Bus ended up recommending me, he pled my case to the best of his ability, which is all I can ask for.

Most of what I'm feeling stems from that fact that much like in the real world, getting laid-off just doesn't feel good, and isn't a blow that can easily be softened. I really enjoyed working with my fellow staffers, and I'll miss helping out the members, but it would be petty to dwell on something like this. It's not personal, and I shouldn't regard it as such.

On that note, I'm very pleased that they decided to take on Lord Glenn and Musashi. Both of them are great and I know they're going to do a wonderful job in their respective positions. I've always admired Musashi's work on FESS and I'm glad he's getting the recognition he deserves for it.



Love,

Popo

Comments

[crystal-mercury.livejournal.com]

I would have recommended you for Art, to be quite honest.

Well, at least I'll still be able to talk to you though LJ and stuff. If you have AIM or something let me know, and feel free to drop by Mercury Ice. I'll miss posting my work on FESS and having you being one of the only ones to comment... Haha.

[popo-licious.livejournal.com]

I've actually browsed Mercury Ice and it looks like a fun place. If I find that SF just doesn't work for me, for whatever reason, I'll consider joining up there instead. :D It just won't do for me not to be a part of a community. >w

[crystal-mercury.livejournal.com]

Awesome. Even if you don't join, we still have LJ and stuff to chat, but I won't be a part of Serene's Forest, unfortunately. I have nothing to contribute.

[butter-building.livejournal.com]

Hey hey, even if you aren't a mod on the art board, you can still do what you can to help out members posting there. As it stands, you're probably the most talented artist posting there, and I think people would be thrilled to hear what advice you have to offer them.

There's a huge bright side to this situation; trust me on that. It'll take some getting used to, but this whole thing has the potential to be a lot of fun.

[popo-licious.livejournal.com]

Seeing as their art section makes my eyes bleed, I'll definitely stick around to help them out. ((Tracing official art doesn't cut it, guys. XD ))I don't think the members are used to getting actually constructive criticism, but they'll just have to get used to it. ;D

[butter-building.livejournal.com]

That's the spirit! I think I'll join you on that crusade, honestly. I may not have the skill I'd like, but I have ample knowledge of the subject.

[popo-licious.livejournal.com]

Strength in numbers. Let's get 'em. >:D

Sorry. [/creeper Popo] XD

[superbus.livejournal.com]

I recommended you, Musashi, LG and Starwolf.

I was told that LG and Musashi were fine, but anything other than that would be "too many". That, and their memberbase is pitching a fit. I had prioritized LG because he's an admin, and Musashi because of his Fire Emblem focus. Maybe that wasn't good enough...

Honestly, hon? I don't know if you WANT to join that staff at the moment. The memberbase is highly xenophobic, and the story Cedric told me about his time in their chatroom was horrific. "Aren't all their members racist?". And I love this one idiot I banned arguing about my legacy, as if I fucking care.

To be honest, you can be angry with me or not, to tell the truth, I have a hard time caring at this point. I put every ounce of what I had into this community, and still don't really feel right; it hasn't hit me. It's like it's not going to hit me for awhile, and that's going to be hard. But with all of that, I still know I ultimately made the right decision. Do we wait for it to rot? Do I wait for other people to come through, when they've shown time and time and time and time and time again that waiting is a waste of time? I've been hard on Crystal, but the truth is that Crystal had issues right after everyone that came before her had issues. I'm expected to believe that after 10 times of people having "issues" (don't forget RoyLover's issues that led to her inactivity), that those are all just flukes?

So really, feel how you want. I'm too tired to really care.

[popo-licious.livejournal.com]

I'm certainly not mad at you, 'Bus. I want you to know that out-right. Whatever I was feeling earlier is gone now, and came about mostly because someone finally had to give me a wake-up call about the fate of the forum, and it just so happened to be you. (If Sword Saint or Lord Glenn made the announcement, you can bet I would have been a little moody towards them too.) I respect you descion, and though I'm hopelessly optiomistic and have a lot of faith in our community, in my heart I know that ending things now is probably the right thing to do. It's easier said than done, but please realize that you're truly a success story with regards to FESS, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over this. You're not a failure in any sense of the word, and you never will be.

As for SF, I didn't realize until about an hour ago one, how many staff members they already have, and two, how hostile the long-time members are getting about our merge. Laying low looks like a good option, and hey, if they need me in the future, that's great. If they don't? Tough luck. :)

[superbus.livejournal.com]

1) He's in Texas. You're in Indiana. It's not like you can drive to him and be with him.

2) You make this assumption that if it would have happened to Aileen, I would have done the same thing. At the VERY LEAST, there would have been a much more clear demarcation of orders. I came back because there wasn't; Hyde didn't know what to do, Josh was doing his own thing, and I think RL was back and forth with HER personal issues.

I would have been helping Aileen. But considering our situation, yes, I would have been doing whatever I could, knowing the root had taken a break, to keep things running smooth.

Remember that the whole point of me taking a week off, other than getting away from the site, was to see how smooth things would run without me. Two days later, gears started stripping. What did you expect me to think? Or to say?

[butter-building.livejournal.com]

And what the hell, I liked the Ike banner!

>:O

[popo-licious.livejournal.com]

Psh. Ike. I've never liked that sympathy-withholding, fighting for his friends, over prepared jerk. XD

[burning-phoneix.livejournal.com]

FUCK beat me to it.

[samuraiter.livejournal.com]

You and I had two different experiences in the FE community, Ms. Popo. I think it's mostly because of my age, but I didn't get close to too many people at FESS. Of those few, I deal primarily with 'Bus and DMA, and, to a lesser extent, M.A.N. and yourself, plus the occasional knockabout guys like Togie, Raptor, BP, Arf, and AD.

I recall having an emotional fandom parting like what you describe, though. That was when I packed my bags and left Sailor Moon fandom for greener pastures, which turned out to be in Elibe. That was like leaving family, though, again, there were a few who came along with me (and, for the most part, are still on my LJ FL). The end of FESS feels more ... distant, perhaps, more professional. I had more respect in FE fandom than I ever garnered from Sailor Moon fandom, but there is much less of a feeling of solidity and permanence.

Forgive me. I ramble.

[popo-licious.livejournal.com]

Actually, Samu... We're not so different as you might think when it comes to our FESS experiences. In the four years I was there, I can look back now and count the number of friends I made on just one hand. I guess you could say that this is for the same reasons that you stated--too mature to fully connect to the member base. I never got close with CD crowd, stayed away from the active FE boards after FE7 had its golden moment, and pretty much kept to myself in the art board. I conversed with plenty of people over the years, but very few made it to the "inner circle" so to speak. I guess what I'll miss most is the feel of the place. I liked being able to go to a place on the Internet that actually promised intelligence and at least mildly interesting conversation. FESS was a rare gem. :) ((The last four or five hours on SF has proven that to me.))

[burning-phoneix.livejournal.com]

I'm an occasional knockabout guy? I THOUGH WE WERE FRIENDS SAMU *SOBS*

I skimmed through it pulling no information from this post

[ahnxlazyman.livejournal.com]

I remember when you first were "hired" to do some pretty important stuff on this website no?

like an admin?

you were so happy.

>< lets just Hope Im talking about the right website cuz I totally remember you telling me about this!

Re: I skimmed through it pulling no information from this post

[popo-licious.livejournal.com]

Well, not an admin--that's Bus' job up there-- but I was resposible for taking care of art related things and trying to help keep the peace. And yeah, I was pretty happy. Looking back, I'm still happy--I had a lot of good times there.