Ugh

Apr. 29th, 2013 01:13 pm
popo_licious: ([WD] Bite)
Well, I was right. Things really were too good to last. I feel so emotionally exhausted and sad that it's hard to breath. More later when I don't feel so glum. Promise. I'm just so tired of my heart hurting all the time that I can't bring myself to go into the details right now. ;^;

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>:

Oct. 22nd, 2010 09:36 am
popo_licious: (Default)
Waking up today, I'm a little bit sad. D:

I mentioned back in May that Virginia Jetzt!--pretty much my favorite band ever--is breaking up, and today is the very last day of their farewell tour.

The end.

Last concert.

:/

The tour kicked off two weeks ago and I've been following it as best I can online--they've posted an unbelievable number of photos and videos to their site spanning their entire career, plus new stuff--but I sort of forgot about it over the last couple of days because I've been so busy. I was reminded of it by something I saw on Facebook today, and it made me sad. I'm still sort of in disbelief over this, but it feels more real now. I guess I'm just coming to terms~

UGH. Why couldn't I have been like every other kid out their and feel my first band-break-up/heartbreak with like, the Backstreet Boys or *NSYNC or something? XD

popo_licious: (Default)
Sorry for double posting in one night. ;3

I've been following this thread on Court-Records.Net for the last few days regarding rumors that there will not be another main entry to the Ace Attorney series, or at least, no sequel to Apollo Justice. The origin of this rumor came from a mistranslation of an interview with ex-producer Shu Takumi by Go-Nintendo, but even with the appropriate edits and explanations, I'm still not reassured, and it doesn't seem like many others are either. It's been three years since Apollo Justice was released in Japan, and we've heard no word regarding future development of the main series. Even if Capcom intended to leave a marketing buffer zone between Apollo Justice and Ace Attorney Investigations--even between AAI and Takumi's Ghost Trick for that matter--it doesn't sound like the game is even in production at this point. No one has stepped up to take charge of the project, and no one seems to have any answers. I fooled myself into thinking that the related parties were being secretive or that the game was still a few years out, but I get the inkling now that they actually haven't created anything for the sequel at this point and don't intend to any time soon.

So, aside from the obvious concern that there won't be another game, at least not for a while, I want to know how people would feel if Apollo Justice really was the last game. I'm not saying that that's the case, and I'm still trying to remain optimistic, but it's something to think about. Can you live with the conclusions? Was too much left unanswered? Was it satisfying in retrospect? It never, ever once crossed my mind that this would be the last game, and now that I've had time to ponder this, I'm viewing the game in a completely different way. It all feels like a horrible waste, particularly when it comes to the cast--was this new world created just to extend and conclude the Phoenix Wright arc, or is it coincidence that he got so much face time in the final conclusions of the game? Were Apollo and Klavier undeveloped again, by coincidence, or simply because they were never meant to be fleshed out in the first place? It's things like this that make me wonder now. :/

I'm also concerned about who will be taking over the project. Since Takumi is out, the next person in line appears to be Motohide Eshiro, who produced AAI. However, I have to admit, I wasn't pleased with the final product of that game--I thought the majority of the character designs missed the mark for either being forgettable, too gaudy, or downright stupid, that the dialogue wasn't as snappy and vibrant as we're used to, and that the plot itself was bland and uninteresting. I really couldn't sympathize with anyone but the old cast--Edgeworth, Franziska, Gumshoes--even though I walked in with high hopes and a readiness to accept the new characters. I consider it the weakest entry to the series at this point, and if these were productions choices made by Eshiro himself, well... I'm a little concerned with him tampering with the main series.

Also, my thoughts, as posted on Court-Records:

"...As for the actual content of the interview... wow. I feel like there really won't be another game at this point, more so than when the interview and the rumors first came out. The tone and the way Mr. Takumi answered the questions just seem so final to me. I understand and respect where he's coming from, but it's still very sad to hear that he considers himself done with this great series. D: (I'm still holding out though!)

One thing that has been bothering me about this interview however, is the following quote and what it implies:

It's a hard question to answer. For me, Ace Attorney ended with the fourth game. I think everything I wanted to do and everything that should have been done in the series was done with the last installment.

Something about this just seems fishy to me. I know that Ace Attorney is his 'baby' and that he can twist the plot around as he likes, but it just seems strange, in my mind, that he would make a new game--Apollo Justice--with an almost entirely new cast, some pretty intense cliffhangers, and only a few fleeting references to the previous games and then call this the true ending of the series when Trials and Tribulations was a perfectly acceptable way to wrap up the story. Apollo Justice doesn't strike me as a bittersweet ending to the first three games; it strikes me as unfinished work and something that begs for a sequel if closure is really to be gained. I don't mean to accuse him of anything or take a swipe at the man whose games I've faithfully enjoyed, but ultimately, I don't necessarily think he was being honest when he said that everything he wanted to do/thought needed to be done was taken care of in GS4. To me, I feel like GS4 was written with a sequel in mind, and that claiming that it was the end of the series is a cop-out to cover the fact that Takumi and/or the writers are losing steam. If GS4 was planned to be the final installment all along, as he claims, so many factors don't add up. Why wasn't Phoenix the main character, badge aside? Why bother introducing Apollo, Klavier and all the other characters not directly related to him, and cut out the old cast entirely? It just feels like a waste. :/

(Of course, this all changes if he means that this is as far as he wants to take the series, but after reading the rest of the interview, it sounds very much like he means that the series is over, with or without him.) ..."


Anyways, I ramble.


Photobucket
What happens to my OTP! THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. D:<
popo_licious: ([AA] Phoenix (Anxiety))
Photobucket



I really wanted to enjoy my last night of hanging out at the beach with my friends, but I'm just so depressed right now. Virginia Jetzt! is breaking up! D: They're such a great band and I essentially owe my soul to [livejournal.com profile] pineapplepower for introducing me to them. I'm in the basement of this gigantic, fantastic house, totally crying my eyes out like I've been dumped by my non-existent beau or something. XD The initial shock has worn off, despite hoping that I translated the text wrong, but it hurts so much. I love this band and everything they stand for--I feel like I know the members personally and I have such a deep bond with their music. I owe them so much and I feel like it's over too soon. D:

I need a hug. >:

Edit: Lori has discovered me and has given me many hugs. The best remedy for heartache is your best friend. <3 <3 <3
popo_licious: (Default)
I'm pretty hurt right now. My best friends and my sister were supposed to come visit me this weekend, and now apparently no one is coming. I've been looking forward to this for two whole weeks! D: I did all my homework ahead of time, cleared my schedule, planned some stuff for us to do, and even added money to my meal plan. Now I'm all alone this weekend. Canceling at the last second is so lame. My friends are all too well known for pulling stuff like this. I should have known. :/
popo_licious: (Default)
I'm back at school. :) Sorry about my angry post the other morning regarding my computer--I was super nervous about going back to VT and certainly didn't need my laptop shorting out on me. I got everything squared away though, so hopefully that's the end of my troubles for now. XD

For some reason, going back this year is much, much harder for me, despite the new dorm and having an awesome roommate. I suppose the novelty of moving in and getting text books and all that has officially worn off. There's no excitement, just anxiety and nervousness and sadness right now. It'll go away soon, but it sucks right now. XD My folks are still in town and my sister is sleeping over in my room tonight, so presently, I'm alright, but come morning, I know I'm going to be a wreck. My days have been punctuated with bouts of tears as of late, which is both embarrassing and inconvenient. Stephanie moved in a day early and was talking to my mom about saying goodbye to her family last night, and it was such a depressing story that it made me cry a bit at dinner. (Just a little. Like, a single tear.) XD

More than anything, I just hope I do well in my classes this year. I'm not that worried about living away from home, though I'll definitely be homesick. I'm most concerned about my classes and keeping my grades up. Last semester I tripped over the finish line. It's too embarrassing to even talk about. I had to drop Macro Economics in the end, I passed Accounting but not to the level required by the business school, I ruined my spectacular Java grade by missing the mark on the final project and bombing the exam, and my German grade was one point away from the next letter grade up. XP The only thing I felt like I did well in was Calculus, surprisingly. Anyways, I'm unofficially changing my major. My GPA is now too low to apply to an actual degree program, but that isn't stopping me from taking some of the lower level prerequisite classes. I'm studying Political Science, and if I like it enough, I can bump it into a Pre-Law degree.

Anyways, video games await. XD I'll post pictures when I get the room cleaned up and my stomach settles down. There aren't any butterflies down there--just worms. :/



Love,

Popo
popo_licious: (Default)
...Hey, LJ! How about "Happy Birthday Popo-Licious" day? XD What a sad birthday this was... My family dropped me off at school this morning and had to leave quickly after due to circumstances beyond their control. I celebrated with my friends last weekend, and had a family party in the hotel last night with some apple pie and champagne and presents, but I really wish they didn't have to leave me today. But then again, I don't like it when they leave me at school anyway, so I guess I would most likely still be feeling pretty bummed-out whether it was my birthday or not. HOMESICK. D: But, thanks for the shout-out's Mike and Foxy. And Andy... your video message made my day. ♥

But to answer the question, I guess I'm most like Owl and Pooh. Owl, because I like to provide advice and opinions, whether or not they're asked for, and enjoy drinking mass quantities of tea. Plus, I think he's cool looking in the original picture books. And Pooh... because I love honey. XD ♥ Sometimes I'll take the bottle of honey off my shelf and suck on it like candy, or squeeze some on a spoon and try freeze it or make it into a lollipop. A'yup. XD

Sorry for being MIA over the last month, guys. I hope none of you thought I actually did chuck myself into the Duckpond. XD If you didn't catch the entry I'm talking about... don't worry. XD

Love,

Popo


PS Among the other interesting presents I received for Christmas and my birthday this holiday season, my sister gave me this really cool Gyakuten Saiban/Ace Attorney Tote Bag that I've had my eye on. Yay! It's perfect for carrying books. :)
popo_licious: (Default)
Now that it's officially out in the open, I can finally discuss my feelings regarding FESS's imminent closing. The people who cared the most about the site probably knew the whole story by last night, but since they weren't my beans to spill, I waited.

To say the least, I'm completely beside myself. When I found out on Wednesday, I felt like I had gotten wacked over the head—hard. I actually felt sick, which I'm sure a lot of others can attest to as well, and ended up going to Stephanie's room and having a little pity party with her. Alongside being shocked, I was... angry. I don't know if I was angry at the situation, or at 'Bus because he happened to be the messenger, or what have you, but I was in this really weird state of aggression that I can't quite explain. ((Can you go through the seven stages of grief for an Internet community...? I've covered shock, anger, and now depression.))

I feel a little better about things at this point, mostly because I ended up joining Serenes Forest to test the waters and got good results for the most part. I considered being petulant about all this by simply disappearing off the face of the fandom, but that would be pointless, and I would have come crawling back anyway. XD

Just because I feel like it sums up my feelings so well, I've included my good-bye post in the quote below. I wouldn't say it's the hardest thing I've had to write, but I did get a little emotional along the way.

I've been a member of this community for nearly four years now--my anniversary falling on December 7th, just short of the mark--and have been amazed countless times by this community's strength and devotion throughout my duration as a member. It hardly needs to be said, but we've been through so much as a group--several moves, a handful of falling-outs, disappointment, and even an uprising or two. However, we've made it through it all with great fortitude, and that's something to be awfully proud of. It saddens me to see that FESS's life is coming to a close, yet I'm heartened to go on with the knowledge that this is due to natural causes--the ebb and flow of a fandom in general--and was not caused by some of the hurtful and malicious behavior we've seen in the past. Like a great beast that knows when it's time is drawing to a close, here we are, bowing out with grace and dignity, though I would expect nothing less from FESS.

I've learned so much during my time here, about people, about responsibility, and about growing up. I give my thanks to Superbus in particular; whether he intended to or not, I feel as though he took me under his wing and showed me the value in being a strong, dependable leader and a team player. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The experiences and opportunities I've been given while here have been invaluable to me, as a member and also as a person.

To the members of the Art Board, I thank you all as well. As I've mentioned to Tir in the past, I've always regarded you as my children to an extent. You were my responsibility to nurture as artists, and I can only hope that I've managed to impart as much insight on you as you've imparted on me. At the very least, I hope I've been able to provide you with a comfortable, relaxed place to post you artwork. While it saddens me that I will not be continuing my duties elsewhere, I encourage all of you to join Serenes Forest alongside the rest of the community and post your pieces there. You all are so talented, and SF needs all the help they can get in their art department.

So I'll catch you on the flip side, FESSers. It's been fun. More than fun, actually. It's been an experience quite unlike any other I've ever known, and most likely, unlike one I'll ever see again.


Regarding my position as a moderator, I'll honestly admit that I'm a little hurt I wasn't approached by the Serenes Forest staff to continue my work on their forums. ((God knows that they need help with their art section. It's a disaster.)) I can't justify being mad at the site’s administration however, because they had no obligations whatsoever to take anyone from FESS, and beyond that, I'm sure that if 'Bus ended up recommending me, he pled my case to the best of his ability, which is all I can ask for.

Most of what I'm feeling stems from that fact that much like in the real world, getting laid-off just doesn't feel good, and isn't a blow that can easily be softened. I really enjoyed working with my fellow staffers, and I'll miss helping out the members, but it would be petty to dwell on something like this. It's not personal, and I shouldn't regard it as such.

On that note, I'm very pleased that they decided to take on Lord Glenn and Musashi. Both of them are great and I know they're going to do a wonderful job in their respective positions. I've always admired Musashi's work on FESS and I'm glad he's getting the recognition he deserves for it.



Love,

Popo
popo_licious: (Default)
Hello, everyone! :D As of yesterday evening, I’m officially all moved into my dorm and ready to start school! I’ve got most of my stuff unpacked, my new computer is running smoothly—for the most part, I’m getting along with my roommate alright (Example: tonight is Coffee-Pot Ramen and Olympics Night, since our meal plans don’t kick in until tomorrow) and I’ve already managed to meet up with a friend I made at orientation. I also learned that the captain of my robotics team for the 2007-2008 season is living in my dorm, as I accidentally closed the elevator door on his father during move-in. XD Despite the lack of air-conditioning, my bed is by the window and there’s been a nice breeze these last few days, so I’m keeping cool and comfortable. (The words biggest window fan is also behind my head, so that’s good too. XD )

HEAVY SIGH

I’m also really, really homesick. It’s not the fact that I have to share a bathroom with a bunch of strangers, or that my living space is about a hundred times smaller than what I’m used to; I just really miss my family, to be honest. If the four of us had to share this little dorm room, I’d still be perfectly happy—proof that home really is where the heart is. And as I told my dad over the phone a little while ago, the day can stretch out to be pretty long when you don’t have too many folks to talk to. My door has been open almost the entire time I’ve been here, but it hasn’t really helped me make friends with anyone new, at least not yet. Everyone else has their doors closed so… I can’t really pop my head and introduce myself, or even say “hi” while walking down the hall. Still, I’m sure things will get better. Right now everyone is still moving in, and I see about as many parents passing my door as kids.

Anyways, I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m okay and moved in. Please leave a comment… I need to talk to people I know! Pictures will be up soon enough.:)

Love,
Popo
popo_licious: (Default)

To all three of you who made timely replies to my last post, I thank you. I don't actually know how to start this entry; everything is still swimming in my mind. Abby was acting strange last night: she refused to sit down, her tail was tucked, she was panting heavily, and couldn't even climb the three stairs leading inside the house from the patio. At first we thought, "Oh great... She's all clogged up again. Looks like the vet will have to get those bowels moving." She paced all night, kept my parents up as she insisted on sleeping in their room, and even though she was wagging her tail this morning, something just wasn't right.

 

I came home from school, and as expected, my mom had scheduled an appointment to go to the veterinarian’s. We got there, they weighed her, they looked in her ears, blah, blah, blah, and couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. Finally, the vet suggested that an x-ray be taken of her abdomen, as it appeared that her underside was undergoing a lot of pressure. The pictures were taken, and when we got them back, the vet traced out Abby's spleen for us. "A normal spleen looks something like a tongue," she explained. Abby's looks like a light-bulb.

 

She has some sort of growth or tumor festering on her spleen, and is currently heading to an animal clinic in Fairfax to have an ultrasound. If the growth is small, they may be able to remove it and allow her to live for a few more months. However, the chance of the cancer coming back is almost guaranteed, and even if they removed her spleen entirely, the illness would simply take over her liver, which cannot be removed or altered, for obvious reasons. If the growth is large, it will likely rupture and burst within the next day or two, in which Abby would have to be put down. The blood samples they took show that there's already internal bleeding occurring in her belly.

 

I don't know what else to say at this point. Deep down, I hope she doesn't come home tonight. I hope this is it, and that I don't have to go through all this pain again, and that Abby will go to a better place. One where she won't lumber around with her arthritic legs or try and wipe her eye-boogers on people's pants or have to worry about spinning-out on the hardwood. I can't take much more of this; she's so old now, at least for a lab, and every time something happens to her, I feel like it's the end. When she fell down the stairs two weeks ago, or a few years ago when she smashed her leg, or a few years before that when she smashed her other leg. Kennel cough. Ear infection. Dog fight. I'm tired of wondering when she's going to pop-off. Will I be at school? College? Will I get a pass from the office or a late night phone call? I just want her to happy, wherever she is, not suffering. I don't want to watch her die, or see her in pain. I don't want her to waste away or fade or just deteriorate. I want to remember her as she was half and hour ago -- with the rain coating her fur, sitting in the back of the car, just laying there, acting ashamed and knowing her time was running out, breathing normally, looking back at me from over her shoulder with those big brown eyes that used to sparkle. They're dull now; it hurts.

 

Kurt Vonneggut always killed off his characters with a simple "So it goes."

 



...So it goes.

popo_licious: (Default)
It's been exactly seven weeks today since I last heard from Memai, and now, finally, I'm hearig this: 



Hakkai Akatsuki: [Memai] said that she won't be able to go online ever because her dad refuses to fix their web connection. I can try to bring her to a cyber cafe to get online, but still, that means she will rarely get online.

By the way ...[Memai said] OMG I just got this HUGE package from Popo! It's so awesome! :heart: ...is what she said about that package she received from you a few days ago. 



And that's all. TT__TT

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