Nostalgia

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell myself, thank you. Or, in many cases, give myself a hug, or a slap across the face. XD I was browsing through my old Gaia journal from several years ago, and reading it helped me remember so many things that I had long since forgotten. Boys I used to have crushes on, the fandoms I was in love with at the time, places I used to go with my friends, my thoughts and feelings on the world around me; looking back on those entries--some of which I don't even remember writing--is like slipping into a pair of old shoes. All of a sudden I'm fourteen again and the world is my oyster. Everything feels new, and the emotion is as raw is it was when I felt it the first time around. And while it really wasn't that long ago--maybe four or five years at most--it feels like a whole lifetime has passed since I stopped being that little girl full of insecurities and pessimism and self-doubt. I've finally grown into the person I always wanted to be, that I knew I could be deep inside. I'm strong, I'm ambitious, I can stand on my own two feet and take on the world; sometimes I would worry that I might never get to that point. For the longest time I figured I would collapse on myself and implode and eventually be swallowed up by everything around me. I'm glad that that's not the case.

To my childhood self, I say thank you. Thank you for pushing and pulling and going forward and living and for documenting everything along the way. ♥